God is There For You

I am amazed when people can say there is no God. WTH? I have witnessed that there is a God. Yesterday, when my poor little doggy made his way to Heaven, God did not abandon me. I don't know what I would have done, had the city employee not been there. For my children not to have to witness their beloved pet lying in a street dead is definately a human angel sent to help. Not an angel as we believe they look like. This man did not have wings. He was as human as you and me. He was sent to be in that place at that time, because God knew it was Trapp's time. He sent someone to help me. The brutality of a death like that is tramatizing.

Then today, God sent my friend Sonya over. Yeah it was as innocent as asking her if she wanted to see a movie. Today was so very hard. The Schwan's man rang the doorbell. I went to tell Trapp to stay and he wasn't there. Rip my heart out. I never knew how safe that little dog made me feel. How many times I talked to him during the day? I still hear his pitter patter everywhere. God had Sonya here so that when I went to get the boys from school, she let me cry. Let me get my guilt out. Again, let me transition into overcoming this horrible time.

I get to school and the boys come walking down the sidewalk towards the car. Their faces are droopy and look like they are about to cry. I want to cry for them. Morghan won't get into the car. He doesn't want to come home with out Trapp being here. I finally coax him into the car. He tells me, "Mom, my heart hurts." I tell him, "Mine does too baby."

God sent my boys a human angel too. Treva stopped by and brought chocolate chip cookies for my boys. She hugged and kissed them and wrestled with them. Made them laugh.

I talked with Terry about getting another dog to make the transition of not having one easier for the boys. It won't replace the loss we have but will refocus on a positive. He said absolutely not. I will have to move out if I do allow another dog. He is right. We have to have a fenced in yard so this doesn't happen again. Besides, with our busy life and my job hunting, a puppy just doesn't fit into our lives. Even if we got an adult dog, it wouldn't work. I like the freedom of a cat. They do not have to be watched like a dog does. I would give anything to go back in time and have my little dog to look after anyhow.

Thank you God! Thank you for holding me through your human angels. I know Trapp is with you and happy. This makes my broken heart mend.